Wow.... I graduate a week from today. It doesn't even seem real. I have been here for so long it seems. Most of my life spent in school. My school experience has been... well it hasn't been good. Always cast aside, never had any friends; I cant say it was because I was shy and quiet because, I am the loudest person i know. It was my behavior and lack of self worth and self control that held me back for making friends and being invited to social gatherings.
It took me till a year ago To figure out what I needed to do to change. The main thing was finding a goal; something to work for that kept my high energy and active mind occupied. I found a career path, and then I found friends. People who can talk to me because my crazy is focused on things other then finding friends and flirting with boys, People are attracted to people with purpose.
My life has taken a huge turn for the better. I have hope for my future. I have been running and working out and learning. I know a little about a lot of things. from land navigation to Army history. I can run 2 miles in 17 min 49 sec, do 62 sit ups in 2min, and 27 push ups in 2min. A huge improvement from never running, doing 5 sit ups, and not being able to do any push ups.
It feels like my life starts when I leave (31 days from now) and I can't wait.
I am really going to miss my friends that I have had for such a short time now but, I am now ready to start my life.

Senior skip day was a blast. slept in, went to the lake, and stoped in at the senior camp out.

33 days left before my life starts!

I graduate on June 7th. I am so nervous. Everyday is a day closer to when I leave for the army. 34 days left.... Here comes my future.

This is my drawing.

Hallow

 

Hallow is an emptiness

Hallow is when they walk by and they know your there and the wont look at you

Hallow is what you feel when the pain eats away at whats left of your hope

Hallow is when they wont spare a smile for the yesterdays

Hallow is walking alone when your surrounded

Hallow is an emptiness

I always want more! When I want, I work hard to get but, when working to get something stops working whet do I do? Probably should move on.. Stop worrying about what I can't have. Stop hoping for more. I won't of course, I'll just keep pushing on, till something breaks. Whether that be my sanity or that of someone else I wont stop because, I want more.

Went on a trail ride yesterday on horse back. I was riding without a saddle and while we were crossing water the horse behind mine ran in to me and knocked me off and in to the water :) good times

Prom was a lot more fun then I thought it would be. I didn't get a date so I went with Makayla. we started off by going to Red Robbin and having some awesome burgers. It was really funny because i could barley sit in my dress, It wasn't really meant for sitting... or dancing for that matter more for just standing and looking good.
When we got there the guy I really wanted to take me was there standing in the parking lot with our friend Jeremy and I was so mad..... Well I was really happy he was there, but at the same time I just wanted him to take me and he wouldn't.
He is the biggest jerk I have ever met and I am so happy that he acted like my date. He walked me in, posed for pictures, and danced with me the whole time he was there. It was Wonderful.
The fun didn't end after he left though Makayla and I had a blast! We danced, ate chocolate and went to a really fun (non-alcoholic) after party at my friend Max's house. So all in all my prom was pretty close to perfect.

I'll post pictures soon :)

EVERYDAY!!!

AHHHH!!! PROM TOMORROW! It is going to be so much fun.... So I don't have a date and as disappointing as that is I will have a good time anyway. It's time to enjoy my last few weeks of being a high school senior. We have a few exciting events to end with: senior skip day, senior breakfast, and drive some type of crazy vehicle to school for the last day.

Everyday is an adventure! Makayla and I are always on the go. from cleaning stalls and returning bottles and cans to random drives to see my family out in the middle of nowhere. today we went to the store and searched for car fresheners and found green apple scented.

There is an awesome new fire pit at my house!

Sorry I skipped my English class Friday, but senior BBQ was the best!!! Everyone was there playing games, eating food messing around. It had to be one of the most fun things I've done with my class. It was wonderful because everyone was included in what ever they wanted to do like helping to cook the food or playing games. Its a day I wont forget anytime soon.

On April 15th I posted a poem called Keep Breathing and i had also submitted it to a local library poem competition for extra credit for English and surprisingly... I won. I didn't even think it was that good who knew :)